A Prayer to Practice Self-Compassion When Facing Setbacks - Your Daily Prayer - May 5

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Have you ever tried to build a house of cards? I have. One summer day when I was young, I set out to make the biggest tower. I diligently placed the cards, one by one, on another. I took my time and went as slowly as I could. I was methodical. After about 90 minutes, I was nearly finished. I went to reach for one of the final cards, and my knee bumped the table. Well, the house of cards came tumbling down. I wasn’t just disappointed; I was gutted. And at that moment, I remember feeling a surge of condemnation and self-judgment come crashing in. The crumbling of the house of cards seemed to testify to something deep within me that was incapable of achieving my goals. My setback spoke negatively to me, and it spoke condemningly about me.

Can you relate? Have you ever experienced a setback, which may have been an innocent occurrence, to speak judgment upon your life? Have you ever felt the crush of discouragement or self-recrimination because of a struggle or obstacle you face?

I don’t know about you, but I can judge myself negatively when such times occur. I tell myself that if I were a better Christian, pastor, or prayer warrior, none of this would happen to me. If God helps those who help themselves, but I am in a place where I need help, well, then God’s not with me, right? And with these thoughts speaking all too loudly, I render judgment upon myself. I condemn myself far worse than God ever does.

Do you believe setbacks in your life testify to a lack of God’s love? Do you see struggles or frustrations as testimonies to faithlessness – signs that maybe God isn’t as close as you think?

If you have ever judged yourself negatively because of a setback in your life, then let these words wash over you: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious.” These words describe the Lord’s fundamental character and elucidate the deepest level of God’s identity. God does not change like shifting shadows; God is not one thing in one moment and another thing in the next. Our God is eternally compassionate and gracious, abounding in love; these attributes are stalwart, trustworthy, and dependable.

The word “compassion” means “to suffer with”; it means to enter the life of another lovingly. In compassion, there is no judgment or retribution. This means we can be confident in the Lord’s care over us because the Lord of compassion is not the Lord who will hurl lightning bolts of misfortune at us or deem us unlovable for our struggles. The compassionate love of God embraces us, even when we stumble. We all receive grace upon grace in the hands of Jesus.

Jesus, as the incarnation of God, comes to us, not to yell or scream, but to be compassionate, to love us in our weaknesses, to embrace us in all our humanity. Jesus joins us in our lives, and the cross testifies to his compassion because it is the eternal sign that he suffers with and for us. And so, we can be confident, amid setbacks, that we are not alone.

And so, if Jesus shows compassion for us amid our setbacks and struggles, shouldn’t we be compassionate to ourselves? What might it look like to refuse setbacks to speak the final word? Instead of looking at our stumbles or failings, can we set our sights on our desire to journey closer to Jesus? Faith rarely exists in palaces of ease and problem-free times. We all face discouragements, But our faith grows when we dare to hold onto the love of Jesus during those moments. Like Peter sinking in the sea, Jesus does not leave us treading water – he reaches out to us. And if he reaches out to us, we can sigh with ease, knowing that Christ’s loving compassion has the final word.

Let’s Pray:

Gracious and compassionate Lord, how blessed is your love over my life? How all-encompassing it is. How transformative! I thank you for your love for me, which frees me from the need to work my way to you. I thank you, and your grace testifies that your presence in my life is a gift to be embraced, not an award that I need to earn. Lord Jesus Christ, when tempted to be self-critical for my failings and setbacks, help me live in light of your incarnation. Help me remember that as you entered the fullness of human life, so too do you embrace the fullness of my humanity. You are one who sympathizes with all my weaknesses and is available to me in all my struggles. Lord, allow me to extend compassion on myself – a compassion rooted in your loving care. Please help me to turn away from the voice of self-doubt, self-recrimination, and self-condemnation. And when these voices rise within me, may your words of compassionate grace speak more loudly in my heart. I turn to you and choose to live as your beloved child. Amen.

Photo Credit:  ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/mixetto

The Reverend Dr. Kyle Norman is the Rector of St. Paul’s Cathedral, located in Kamloops BC, Canada.  He holds a doctorate in Spiritual formation and is a sought-after writer, speaker, and retreat leader. His writing can be found at Christianity.com, crosswalk.com, ibelieve.com, Renovare Canada, and many others.  He also maintains his own blog revkylenorman.ca.  He has 20 years of pastoral experience, and his ministry focuses on helping people overcome times of spiritual discouragement.

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