A Prayer for Carrying More Than You Were Made to Carry
By Rachel Wojo
Bible Reading:
"What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” - Exodus 18:17-18
Listen or Read Below:
I can still see the brick fireplace in our old living room. My special-needs daughter, Taylor, thought running across the raised hearth was the best game in the house. At the time, all those years ago, she was strong, she was fast, and she had no concept of danger. That was the hardest part of caring for her: I could explain why the bricks were dangerous until I was “blue in the face,” as my mom used to say. Explanations did not change her habits.
One day, she slipped.
She didn't fall hard, and thankfully, she didn’t hit her head. But I saw her feet go out from under her, and for a half-second I braced myself, then something inside of me broke. I had a three-year-old behind me. A nineteen-month-old in the playpen. A newborn in the bouncy seat. And I realized, standing there with my heart in my throat, that I had been trying to be four people at once, and one day soon it was going to cost one of them something I couldn't give back.
I don't remember what I did next, but I do remember one particular thought. Her safety is more important than my pride.
For months, I had been telling myself I should be able to do this. Other moms managed four kids. Other moms didn't need help. If I were the right kind of mother, the right kind of Christian woman, I'd figure it out. Asking for help meant I wasn't enough. Asking for help meant I was failing. So I kept trying to carry it all by myself when my husband was at work. All the usual parenting tasks plus the constant hovering watch over Taylor. Oh, and the laundry and meals. Honestly, I kept silently resenting God for not making me stronger.
But friend, it wasn't that God hadn't made me strong enough.
I was carrying things He'd never handed me in the first place.
In Exodus 18, Moses is doing the same thing I was doing. He's sitting as a judge for Israel from morning until evening, settling every dispute and answering every question.
His father-in-law, Jethro, watches him for one day and speaks up: "What you are doing is not good."
Not "you're doing great, just pace yourself."
Or if he’d sounded like he was from my Appalachian roots, "bless your heart, you're so devoted."
He says this is bad for Moses and bad for the people Moses loves.
"The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone."
He then tells him to keep only the things you can do and release the rest.
That's the part I missed for years. I thought the choice was between carrying everything and giving up. I didn't realize there was a third option, and it’s the one God actually offered: carry what's yours, and let Him, through His people, carry the rest.
The day after Taylor almost hit her head on the bricks, I picked up the phone and asked about respite care. When the respite worker started coming, my first reaction wasn't relief; it was grief. I cried because I felt like I had failed. I cried because I thought asking for help meant I loved Taylor less than a mother who didn't need help.
It took me a long time to understand that letting someone else carry part of the weight was the most loving thing I could do for Taylor, for my other babies, for my amazing husband, Matt, and yes, for me. Moses didn't love Israel less when he let the seventy elders help. He loved them even better.
If you're reading this today and your shoulders ache from something that was never yours to carry, whether it’s another person's choices, another person's emotions, a caregiving load designed for a team instead of one person, a burden you took on because no one else would, then hear what Jethro said to Moses, and what God is saying to you through this passage. What you are doing is not good. The work is too heavy for you. God’s not accusing us; He’s inviting us into a different solution.
You were made to carry something. You were not made to carry everything.
And you were never made to carry anything alone.
Pray with me?
Let's Pray:
Heavenly Father, I'm coming to You today tired in a way sleep doesn't fix. You see the load I've been carrying. I have things that are mine, and then the things I picked up somewhere along the way without anyone asking me to. I've been telling myself that a stronger person could handle this, and a better Christian wouldn't need help. Those are lies.
Lord, would You show me the difference? Show me what's mine to carry and what was never mine in the first place. Give me the humility to set down the weight that isn't from You, and the courage to ask for hands to help with the weight that is. Forgive me for confusing exhaustion with faithfulness. Forgive me for thinking I had to prove something to You that You've already told me I don't.
Thank You that You gave Moses a Jethro. Thank You that You put people in my life who can see what I can't admit. Help me remember that letting someone help me isn't a weakness. It's the way You designed this whole thing from the beginning.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
If you're in a season where the weight feels heavier than your shoulders can hold, I wrote Desperate Prayers: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life's Darkest Moments for exactly that kind of day. It's the book I wish someone had handed me the afternoon Taylor slipped on those bricks.
Discuss today’s devotional with others in the Your Daily Prayer thread on the Crosswalk Forum.
Photo Credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden
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